Sec. 1. How to use this book -- Sec. 2. The birds : Typical birds ; Backyard assholes ; Hummingbirds, weirdos, and flycatchers ; Egotists and show-offs ; Fuckers ; Floaters, sandbirds, and dork-legs ; Murder birds -- Sec. 3. Tips for watching birds -- Sec. 4. Four seasons of bird watching -- Sec. 5. Extinct species -- Sec. 6. Bird feeders -- Sec. 7. Keeping your own bird journal.