Processed food is bad for you, right? -- Plants are trying to kill you -- Microbes are trying to eat your food -- The smoking gun, or what certainty looks like -- Sunburnt to a crisp, or what less certainty looks like -- Is coffee the elixir of life or blood of the devil? -- Associations, or the grapes of math -- What's that public pool smell made of? -- You're late for a very important date -- So what do I do?